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22 FREE Breakup & Relationship eBooks
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our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup for free!
How to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer attracted to you
Did She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard women want, and never get dumped again!
Win Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you forever more!
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In the Loving Your Long Distance Relationship series you'll find valuable relationship advice and discover the secrets to keeping love hot, avoiding relationship problems, and escaping temptation


The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up
The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart
Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?
In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.


THE SHOWDOWN BETWEEN IN-PERSON
AND CYBERSPACE RELATIONSHIPS:
WORDS AND LISTENING

by John Suler, Ph.D.

A powerful way that people connect to each other is through words. In the beginning, CSR relied mostly on language conveyed through typed text - mostly e-mail and newsgroups posts. Even today, typed-text accounts for a very large majority of communication over the Internet. There are at least three distinct advantages of these text-mediated relationships over IPR.

1. The interaction is asynchronous. It doesn't occur in "real time" so you can respond to your net-mate whenever you wish, at whatever pace you wish. That gives you time to think about what you want to say and to compose your reply exactly the way you want. This comes in very handy for those awkward or emotional situations in a relationship. Unlike IPR, you're never on the spot to reply immediately. You can think it through first, do a little researching or soul-searching, if you wish. My advice for those very emotional moments is to compose a message, wait at least 24 hours, reread your message, modify it if necessary... then send it off. This wait-and-revise strategy can do wonders in averting impulsiveness, embarrassment, and regret.


Long Distance Relationship Mistakes The most common LDR mistakes and how to avoid them. Many LDR couples have been making these mistakes for years hence putting their relationship at risk. So what is the real secret in avoiding all these mistakes? Find it all at our Perfect Distance Relationship Guide  
2. The written dialogues of CSR may involve different mental mechanisms than in-person talk. It may reflect a distinct cognitive style that enables some people to be more expressive, subtle, organized, or creative in how they communicate. Some people feel that they can express themselves better in the written word. Surely, there have been truly great authors and poets who sounded bumbling or shallow during IP conversation.

3. Text-mediated relationships enable you to record the interactions by saving the typed-text messages. Essentially, you can preserve large chunks of the relationship with your net-mate, maybe even the entire relationship if you only communicated via typed-text. At your leisure, you can review what you and your partner said, cherish important moments in the relationship, and reexamine misunderstandings and conflicts. This kind of reevaluation of the relationship is impossible in IPR, where you almost always have to rely on the vagaries of memory. In fact, if you want to get downright philosophical about it, you could make the argument that your complete archive of text communications with your net-mate *is* the relationship with that person, perfectly preserved in bits and bytes. It's not unlike a novel, which isn't a record of characters and plot, but rather *is* the characters and plot.
How to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer attracted to you

22 FREE Breakup & Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back for free!

Broken Heart?
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice from The Breakup Guru.
Did She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard women want, and never get dumped again!
Win Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you forever more!

The big disadvantage of text-driven relationships is what's missing vis-a-vis IPR. There are no voices, facial expressions, or body language to convey meaning and emotion. That issue takes us to the first of the five senses -- hearing.

The human voice is rich in meaning and emotion. A sharp edge to someone's words can rouse your suspicion or anger. Just the sound of a loved one's voice can be enough to create feelings of comfort and joy. Singing - one of the most expressive of human activities -- powerfully unites people. In CSR mediated by text only, both obvious and subtle nuances in voice pitch and volume are completely absent. And singing is impossible (unless you consider the mutual recitation of lyrics as singing... which some onliners do).

Advocates of text-driven CSR do have a comeback to this criticism. Lacking auditory and visual cues, the e-mail message or newsgroup post can be productively ambiguous in tone. When reading that typed message, there is a strong tendency to project -- sometimes unconsciously -- your own expectations, wishes, anxieties, and fears into what the person wrote. Psychoanalytic thinkers call this "transference." Your distorting the person's intended meaning could lead to misunderstandings and conflict. It could stimulate countertransference reactions from your Internet partner. On the other hand, if you discuss your (mis)perceptions with your friend, you are revealing underlying (perhaps unconscious) elements of how you think and feel. In a sense, you are being more real with the other person, allowing a deeper relationship to form. Of course, this more rich and meaningful relationship will only develop when people are mature enough to talk about and work through those projections and transferences with each other.


Stop Worrying! You can keep your Long Distance Sweetheart happy and faithful! Click HERE to find out how.
An entirely different comeback for cyberspace advocates is that one's voice can be heard via the Internet. It's only a matter of time before audio-streaming becomes perfected to the point where it matches the quality of IP. In fact, conversing in cyberspace may have some distinct advantages. If you so desire, conversations easily could be saved and replayed -- which isn't possible in IPR, unless you're carrying a tape recorder. Using software programs, nuances in voice pitch and volume can be examined more carefully for subtle emotions and meaning. Programs also could allow you to modify your voice as you transmit it. If you want to speak in the voice of Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwartzenegger, or Daffy Duck, so be it. Or you can add in any auditory special effect you desire in order to embellish your words -- Pomp and Circumstance, explosions, quacks. As we'll see over and over again, a unique feature of CSR is the ability to use imagination and fantasy to shape the way in which you desire to present yourself. This can be a fascinating and revealing dimension to a relationship.

John Suler, PhD, is Professor of Psychology at Rider University and a practicing clinical psychologist. He has published on psychotherapy, mental imagery, and eastern philosophy. He currently maintains several web sites.
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Dear Friend:

I want to let you in on a secret.

If you've been in the mood for love but your lover's been miles away, keeping an intimate and passionate connection with him or her is easier than you think.

In fact, I've developed a new guide that reveals time proven secrets on how to make love at a distance.

Sound crazy?

I thought so too... until I married my long distance lover...

....READ MORE ABOUT MAKING LOVE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!

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